A Rejection Mindset from Conception

Rejection’s assignment is to cultivate a sense of separation from love and a true understanding of who you are. It’s a nasty enemy that often begin its operations at birth. It can begin at conception, perpetuating rejection-based thoughts surrounding how you were conceived and born.

Your parents carry a great deal of authority in how they receive the news of your conception and birth. The mindsets they carry and the words they communicate have a of lot of influence over your life, even when in the womb.

Rejection Mindset at Conception

A very easy place for rejection to begin its work is at the news of conception. I work with scores of people who recognize their rejection-based struggles and quickly find there are birth circumstances that enhanced rejection’s voice.

Looking back at their birth history, their parents often spoke words of rejection over the child. Discovering they have conceived, many parents respond to the news from their own unhealed brokenness, not feeling ready to have a child. Instead of welcoming the new life with open arms, their insecurities rule the narrative.

When a pregnancy is unexpected, fear often comes flooding into the picture. In response, many parents declare verbally or silently in their hearts, “I did not want another child.” They may even say, “I do not want this child.”

The Father’s Fear

Both parents can struggle with this, but the father’s fear is often a financial one. If a man is not spiritually and emotionally healthy, he will view having a child mainly through the lens of financial burden. He can come under financial pressures, bound by worry that he cannot provide for this new life. What he doesn’t realize is that what the mother and baby need the most is his leadership and love.

If not,  fear will drive him to freak out and spew all kinds of words that he doesn’t realize can have deep repercussions. He exclaims, “We can’t afford another child! I don’t want this kid! I never planned for this!”

Couples can find themselves arguing rather than celebrating. Maybe they had all the kids they wanted and suddenly, they are surprised with a new pregnancy.

It is one thing to be shocked and overwhelmed with a surprise pregnancy. Every parent has their share of fears to face when anticipating being a parent. It is an entirely different thing to carry those unhealed perspectives into relationship interaction with the developing infant.  

The War at Conception

You need to know there is a great war over the life and conception of children. God is intricately involved in our formation. (Psalm 139:13-18) Not only does life begin at conception, God also knew you before the foundations of the world. (Ephesians 1:4)

But we also need to be aware of the spiritual enemy that seeks to interfere with the initial stages of love, security and safety. Rejection can seek to interfere in the womb, especially through what is taking place in the lives of the father and mother.

Countless people have crossed my path saying, “My parents didn’t want me.” Many of these circumstances were difficult for the mother and father. Yet the sting of rejection began its work at these early stages.

Unresolved Brokenness

This is why it is important for parents to become aware of how their unresolved brokenness can affect their children and future generations.

I remember one young man who lived in a decent Christian home, but had this nagging feeling of feeling ignored, left out and unwanted his whole life. He could not put his finger on why he carried this sting of rejection his whole life. Until one day, in a moment of transparency, his listened to his mother talk about not wanting to bring a child into the world. She was too afraid and didn’t feel she could do it.

For years, this was never known, nor was this issue worked through. It gave rejection room to spew lies under the radar for decades. Recognizing this wound was painful, but it gave him understanding and more clarity to work through the healing process.

My Personal Decision

I take this understanding very seriously, because I have watched generations of people carry rejection from birth, stemming from their parent’s inability to love and accept them. I decided to combat this by first working through my own rejection issues; allowing God to have full access to my heart and history, so that I could become more aware of destructive patterns that could have a negative influence on my family.

Then, my posture was to declare love and acceptance over my children, the moment I became aware of pregnancy. I immediately laid hands on my wife Melissa’s stomach and spoke blessing and acceptance to new life.

When my children were born, I made sure they heard my voice speaking my love and validation. I realized that as I was doing this, I was breaking the pattern of many generations that did not take their loving position to release this kind of blessing.

In ministering to people, I have helped many parents recognize they can also renounce the negative words they spoke and release blessing into their children’s lives. The goal of rejection is not only to break free into new patterns, but to heal the generations and bring new levels of relationship blessing to the light.

Difficult Birth Process

Many people have had difficult birth experiences. They were left as a baby, possibly in an incubator or were left for adoption. Others we born while strife was going on with their parents. A multitude of painful experiences can take place at birth that leave an imprint on the child, even though one may have no memory of it.

Whatever your birth origins, I have found it helpful to process some healing regarding your conception, but also to see the great value in who you are–to understand how precious your life is on this planet.

If the enemy can get any hooks of rejection into your system as early as possible, then he will follow your life with a sense of separation from God, yourself and other relationships in any way possible.

Whatever your history, Father God wants you to know that you are His precious creation.

Would you receive His invitation to break through rejection and enter into His divine love and acceptance?


Father God, I thank You that I am beautifully and wonderfully made in Your sight. When I was conceived, You were there. When I was born, You were there. Thank You for the miracle of life and for the work You have done to give me life.

Father, I give You room to heal my arrival into this world. I give You my conception, the news of my entrance into human life and my birth. I give You the circumstances surrounding my birth and the issues going on in my dad and mom’s life at the time.

I forgive my mom and dad for any areas of brokenness they carried that did not allow them to fully embrace my conception and birth in the way they could have. I release grace and love towards them and I choose to walk in a path of acceptance and healing.

God, I give you my birth experience. I ask that you heal my life of any negative imprint, where my mother could not nurture me or my father could not cover me and mom in love. I ask for peace to replace at fear that came about during that time for love to increase where rejection was looming.

Father, heal the stress that was involved in giving birth to me. No matter the fear or rejection that came about during my birth, I can know that I am safe with you. I choose to receive your safety, love and acceptance.

I know that when my father and my mother forsake me, You will take care of me. (Psalm 27:10) I also know that no matter what the enemy assigned against me to reject me, You are here to accept me today. I am not rejected. I am not unwanted. I am not alone.

You love me. You always have and I receive that today. In Jesus name, amen.