S08 Ep12: Addressing Your Questions – Part 2

In today’s episode, we recorded a second live Q&A, where we address your questions and the battles you face in your heart journey.

Of the questions we addressed, here are some of the topics we addressed and more:

  • Performance driven Christianity
  • Loving yourself 
  • Broken dreams
  • Desiring marriage 
  • Avoiding extremes
  • Spiritual abuse 
  • Perfectionism
  • Lust
  • Head vs Heart
  • Struggling to receive
  • Fear of being deceived
  • Pandemic confusion and exhaustion. 

Video Broadcast:

I Have Not Done Enough in Obedience to Please God:

I have always struggled with having symptoms and believing that I haven’t done enough in obedience to please God. Therefore I haven’t fully been able to receive His love in my heart. How were you able to stop relating symptoms to being loved or not by the Father? 

Loving Yourself and Selfishness:

I’m struggling with self-compassion and I know my continued self-criticism is limiting my ability to heal. How do you overcome a lifetime of believing that loving yourself or treating yourself kindly was selfish and should be avoided?

Vision of Being a Wife and Mother:

My vision has been to be a wife and mother since I was very young.  As I prayerfully struggle to endure in the waiting, maybe you can speak about how to guard your heart from discouragement and what does a surrendered heart look like. I do not want to hold onto “my vision” more then holding onto the Lord’s will!

Avoiding Extremes (Control/Passivity) (Performance/Passivity) 

How does one avoid the extremes of control and passivity in marriage and with God? 

How does one avoid the extremes of performance and passivity in life generally?

Perfectionistic Tendencies:

How do you balance having a heart to fully please the Lord without slipping into perfectionist tendencies? 

Long story short I had a truly life altering encounter with Jesus about 7-8 years ago. I was a prodigal who wondered off only to become disillusioned with the world and get to the end of myself. In my early 30’s The Lord drew me back by His love and grace. During this time I had experienced Gods love in such a profound way that I just wanted to give my life back to Him.  After some challenging life circumstances (including the loss of my Dad a few years ago) I have sensed myself slipping back into old thought patterns which have led me to the conclusion that maybe their is some heart healing that still needs to take place. 

Anyway, the Lord has led me to your ministry I know it is not an accident. There are days when I am struggling and you put out a video that speaks exactly to that need. 

Anyway I can sense some perfectionist tendencies creeping back in out of my heart to really please God. And I don’t even realize I am doing this ….which then leads to guilt and shame. Can you give any insight into that? I’m struggling with how to balance. 

Recovering from Toxic Relationships/Boundaries Issues:

How do you heal and recover from toxic relationships when the people who have partially inflicted pain in your life are part of your extended family and you keep seeing them and even when you avoid them they on groups like Whatz up? 

I say partially inflicted pain because – I contributed as well due to my own brokenness of not having good boundaries.


For me, I wonder why I struggle so with lustful desires and what ways to walk in victory. I don’t want to desire such things and yet I find there’s part of me that does. Possibly has to do with not being well established in Gods love? 

Head vs Heart:

How do you know when you are in your head or when you are in your heart or from your heart?

Struggle to Receive:

I still struggle to receive all that Jesus has given to us,(me)  I can give easily but struggle to receive, can serve others easily but when others serve me or want to I find it awkward. You may cover this topic later in your course which I still need to get to?

I know I am hard on myself,  and learning to be kind to “myself” J in your last article, was helpful.

How Can I Know I am Not Being Deceived?

When I started reading others ebooks, blogs, youtube, whatever… I have heard so many things, I am sure you know of that… who to believe… I have trust and safety issues from childhood and with God it isn’t always one direct way…  prayer and healing can come in many forms, I know that but I have a hangup with wanting to do things right, I feel I am paralyzed in my prayer life… I am from a United Pentecostal Church background 1996-2010… since have learned Grace and blessed with teachings online. I like (NAME REMOVED) but he believes a lot of stuff ended at the disciples time… I learned take nuggets from people and toss the rest…. 

I hope you are following me, its hard for me to organize my thoughts…  Have you heard all the diverse teachings like Jesus healed us at the cross, just believe it or lay hands on them and say in Jesus name and they will be healed… and do you speak to the mountain (infirmity)… I came across a local church that does transformational prayer ministry. the man said he doesn’t cast demons out anymore, he addresses the issue like unforgiveness and then the demon just doesn’t stay anymore…   I know another man that teaches on health, he has a medical degree but became a pastor and believes sicknesses are all based on undealt with things of the heart or childhood wounds…

So I rarely pray anymore, I feel frustrated. I try to tell myself forget it all and go to God with my heart as a child, that He will receive that approach 🙂  Sometimes I just say God help…  but I still feel “stuck” and not liberated in prayer… so hung up on the “right” way to do things… even on my jobs, my need to know what is expected and for me to do it right so I could feel at ease…

And now worship and praise, singing to God at home with music,.  suggestions come up on youtube that say why I don’t listen to Bethel worship anymore… and these people that go into deeper stuff saying its a different spirit they are worshipping or whatever… what I am saying is generalized, just trying to get my issue across to you.

I know its my heart He wants, and the hangups I have to let go of… I have to get more consistent with my heart healing journey too…

how to let go of worrying about everyone’s views regarding Bible interpretation, prayer, works of the Spirit, what christian music is acceptable – because of wanting to be inline with God…

How can i be sure i am “not deceived”?

Pandemic Confusion and Exhaustion

One thing I am kind of wondering is the dealing with the stuff going on right now with the “pandemic” . I know you have done some things to address this – thank you.  

Could you elaborate?  I am finding more anxiety being hit with every ministry stating statistics of how this is  effecting us and what we need to do. Also the great great divide in people about everything…and the hatred…the pure overwhelming mean, murderous words against everyone. How do you guard your heart? Especially when already struggling with the core things of healing one’s heart?

Does  one just proceed one step at a time on the healing journey or does all this sheltering, isolation, separating people, changing nonstop everything from statistics, wear/don’t wear a mask, etc. (How does  OCD walk this out😳?), affect our healing journey. I feel like I am trapped in the biggest dysfunctional family ever. 

Feeling trapped..just like my growing up years. My patience is all but gone… for stupid people … This is not how i have been. I have not been a road rage type of driver, i have looked at small infractions as people are dealing with their own stuff, i practiced patience and kindness at the stores. Was all that fake??? Is my heart really that sinful and I had been walking in the flesh ? Now the REAL ME is exposed? because of the intensity of the pandemic and all that entails? 

Shouldn’t God be enough … all by Himself to get through this with the fruits of the spirit? Look at Paul being imprisoned away from other believers… i feel like a failure and my self talk has become most condemning. I made cards that are a mixture of things from your materials. And a couple other sources…all backed with biblical truth. I started  reading them multiple times and even recorded them and sent to text to myself. It’s been worse for me.

To tell you the truth this is my convo with God-

Im tired.

 I talk too much- I don’t talk enough

I give too much-I don’t give enough

You need to be in the word- you are not in the word enough

I feel damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

Ask for help (physical, emotional, spiritual, etc.) Be humble

Don’t ask for help Pray Trust God

Is this all or nothing thinking?

This makes me feel like I am back at home and rules constantly changing.

Now the pandemic feels the same way.

I am tired. Very tired. Maybe you can address that. A very tired heart.

Thanks. Love you and Melissa (she echoes so much of me but puts words to it sooo much better). 


Recommended Resources: 

To support future podcasts: