7 Things I Do When I Am Frustrated
You are not living on planet earth if you say you never get frustrated. Everyone faces this issue. Frustration is our modern way of communicating there has been a collision of what we expected and what is happening that do not match. We have a
Growing up, I dealt with frustration by going into pity. Frustrating circumstances communicated to me that I was powerless and helpless. I would often let one situation act as an emotional domino–this one thing frustrating me means everything is going bad.
Most family lines deal with frustration by unleashing anger. They let out anger at those around them or they suppress the anger within. Both are harmful and clear signs that what is creating frustration needs to be addressed. Quite often our perspective and coping habits need to be addressed in order to have victory.
Here are seven things I do whenever I am feeling frustrated.
1. Stop and Take a Step Back
I stop, move away from my desk, the person or situation and get perspective on the issue. We often stand so close to something we simply cannot put it into the perspective of life. I ask, “Does this issue really need to have that much power over me?” I often go for a walk and do something to clear my head, so I can get back into life with a healthier perspective.
2. Stop and Talk Out the Issue
When we are frustrated, we need nurture in that moment to help us remember, “Everything is gonna be ok.” Because most people lack nurture, they don’t know how to process a frustrating experience. We can often experience nurture the most by experiencing the Holy Spirit. He is the comforter, reminding us what Jesus has said and connect to the Father’s love for us. I have to daily stop and let the Holy Spirit bring comfort to my heart, especially during times of seeming impossibilities.
I find having just one person to talk it out with can be helpful. We all need the council of healthy people. Usually its my wife, because Melissa knows me better than anyone I know. She knows what mindsets I have that may trip me up. I also have friends to bounce things off of and mentors who have permission to speak into any area of my life. These things all create safeguards so that frustration doesn’t take me out.
3. Get Away from Negative Nancy or Victim Vincent
Negativity is to the demonic realm as a dead carcass is to vultures. I have learned that filtering negativity out of my life is crucial to building a faith walk that overcomes frustration. In order to do this, you may need to filter out how much news you watch, how much politics you engage in, what friends you hang out with and what family members have input to your life.
We have to keep ourselves out of victim posture, because that mindset tarps us into thinking we are powerless and without options. Overcomers get out of negativity and constantly remind themselves that there are always choices and options for us in life. We just have to press through this frustration to see what is made available because of this circumstance.
4. Begin to Give Thanks
Nothing can defeat a overwhelming situation like thanksgiving. Cultivating gratitude will immediately put your situation and struggle in the right perspective. I have always said, “A grateful heart can NEVER be defeated.” No matter where you put them in life, they are just grateful.“ Even if it starts with ”Thank you God that I am alive” you gotta start somewhere to shift your perspective. We often get so lost in our expectations that we stop appreciating. Appreciation keeps your eyes on everything you are grateful for, thus diminishing the power of frustration.
5. Do Not Catastrophize the Situation
I mentioned earlier that when I was young, I catastrophized everything. This is a trap many of us fall into. We take one thing or a list of things and hit the domino that collapses everything else. We now find ourselves in a position of the world is coming to an end. If we are aware of the catastrophizing habit, we can catch ourselves in the middle of it. Sometimes I will say out loud “This is really not that important. The world is not hinging on this situation. I need to chill out.”
6. Be kind to yourself
There is no need to add to the combustion of frustration by being hard on yourself. Kindness is the action of love, giving what is needed the most. Love is most powerful in the midst of hard times. What you often need the most in your frustration and pain is loving kindness, to keep your heart feeling safe and encouraged.
Now please know, you are not always going to have a person around you to give you the kindness you need, so you must learn to give this to yourself. You activate kindness toward yourself by engaging thoughts that promote love towards yourself and others in the midst of what you are facing. Love is the answer, but we need to activate it and experience it in the midst of challenges.
7. Take Responsibility
It’s important to take personal responsibility for what keeps you in frustration. Are you being too hard on yourself? Are you taking too much on? Are there expectations of others that you need to let go of?
Who do you need to simply forgive and release? Do you need to forgive and release yourself?
Sometimes in our frustration we take it out on others and we think others are the problem. Maybe the problem is our perspective. We often just need to release the people around us and the outcomes of situations we face to God and take our peace. You cannot control others and the results in life. You can only control what your mindset, perspective and actions will be.
Question: What else do you do to overcome frustration?