Breaking Off Unworthiness

Do You Really Believe You Are Worth Being Loved?

I used to cry out to God on my knees saying, “I am not worthy!”

I was trained to think that the more I thought I was unworthy, the more it would make me feel worthy. Yet the opposite happened. The more I thought of myself as unworthy, the more separated from God’s love I felt.

Worth Being Loved

Does it matter if someone loves you so much but you don’t feel worthy to be loved?

One of the biggest reasons we cannot love ourselves the way that God loves us is because we have been conditioned to believe we are not worth being loved to that kind of level. We have become content to live with a lower level of worth and value.

There is a bizarre behavior we give into when we do not feel we are worth being loved. I have painfully witnessed this in people over and over again. Too many are deflecting the love God has or them. It is just too intense and so pure that it seems too good to be true.

Instead of receiving this magnificent love, they deflect it back. When someone loves on them, they don’t have a place for that love to land, so they find a reason to not accept it.

This causes people to tolerate a lesser level of living. Living unworthy becomes a way of life.

In the end, love may be transmitted in the most powerful way, yet not received unless someone realizes they are worth being loved.

Filling Our Need to Feel Worthy

Everyone has a built in need to feel worth, significance and value. If we don’t find it in God, we won’t know what to do with what He sends our way. In fact, our relationships and potential all live by the way side unless we come into agreement with how much God loves us.

Colossians reminds us that that God counts us worthy and qualifies us. But are we saying yes to this?

giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light. Colossians 1:12 (NKJV)

The love of God is so great, those who believe in His Son Jesus have an identity designed to manifest that powerful love.

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! (1 John 3:1 NKJV)

Furthermore, the best way to imitate the nature of God occurs when we learnt the simplicity of living as loved children.

Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. Ephesians 5:1 (NKJV)

God says that as believers, we have worth and value as His children.

But I want to challenge this thought a little. We are not loved only because we received Christ. In fact, we were loved even before that.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 (NKJV)

God loved you before you every accepted Him. He saw worth in you before you ever had a thought about God. In fact, God will love you even if you decide not to follow Him.

Before anyone accepted God’s saving grace, we still had value in God’s eyes. Some people think they only have value when they accepted Jesus. No. We had value before that even happened.

Connecting to Value and Worth

God’s love comes to us, releasing value and worth that we have as His children, but we must learn to receive it and activate it. God can love you all day long, but its meaningless if you do not receive it. Unworthiness will trap you all day long from the amazing blessings available to you.

I have found there to be a plague today of people not receiving the full value and worth they possess.

How many times have I ministered the love of God over someone, only for them to deflect the words I say to them?

Instead of the easy way, which involves being loved as God’s child, the enemy has complicated the matter in disqualifying us from that love.

The Counterfeits

So instead, we become trained to perform for love. We live in the endless cycle of trying to do things for God to gain a sense of His approval. This is not living as a loved child, because a child does nothing to earn his or her position. It has been given. It just needs to be accepted and acknowledged.

Instead, we settle for a lesser identity. Because unworthiness deflects the love that God sends our way, we become more comfortable doing things for God, rather than just being with God. This is the life of a slave.

Unable to Receive

When we tolerate unworthiness, we find ways to not receive the amazing love God has for us. We don’t take words said to us with our hearts. We come into agreement with the accusers disqualifying accusations that make us feel far from God. We hate that feeling, but we know of no other way.

This leaves us with little vision for more in our lives.

I can’t imagine having the funds to buy my wife a brand new car, only to have her say, “Nah, not for me.” It would devastate my heart.

Imagine how God feels when we do not receive the worth He has given us; to throw down the precious gems He gives to us. Why are we letting unworthiness keep us in the periphery rather than entering into the front row of what God is doing? 

The Assignment of Unworthiness

In my work with people, I have found the following patterns to be true when unworthiness manifests its ugly deception.

  1. It blocks you from seeing who God sees you to be.
  2. It trains you to be comfortable living in a lesser identity.
  3. It steals your confidence so that you are always in the back row of what God is doing.
  4. You take the position of a pauper, rather than a prince.
  5. You settle for thinking that beats you up and you circumstances that are limiting.
  6. You are stuck in a “sinner saved by grace” identity.
  7. There is a dysfunctional posture with God that says, “Well only if He wills.” But this is an excuse to remain in a passive posture.
  8. Constantly reminded of your flaws and shortcomings. Weakness seen as liability. You become easily accused in your thoughts and disconnected from your value.
  9. Conditions you to have a passive relationship with God. So you don’t take steps, initiative and you don’t take responsibility. Therefore, you don’t act.
  10. You leave much of your birthright on the table.

The Deception of Unworthiness

It’s tricky, because many people recognize their sense of unworthiness, but never change. Their broken state now keeps them in a victim posture. When someone has a hard time receiving love, people see it and are moved with compassion.

Yet unworthiness wants to trap the person in not taking any action. Eventually, we have to take responsibility for not receiving the love that is given to us. But unworthiness keeps us in a victim posture.

Think about it. If I don’t receive the love of God, I wont get a hold of my identity. If I don’t comprehend my identity, I don’t have to be responsible for living in accordance with the high calling of my identity.

This is why so many are content to live in slavery. They cannot receive the love of God and they not always interested in making the adjustments to see what He sees.

If I remain in limited vision, I can justify a low level of responsibility for my life.

A False Humility

Unworthiness seeks to hide under a mask of humility, but it’s false. It’s a counterfeit to true humility. It takes on a poor me and “I am unworthy” kind of posture that never leaves. This is actually a form of pride, because it resists God’s invitation for more and keeps a person content with the lies of being lesser than what God says.

The reality is, we don’t want to take responsibility to deal with how poorly we see ourselves and take confident action for the great things He has in store for us.

Are You Able to Receive?

Unworthiness blocks our receptors, keeping us from freely taking in love, acceptance, value and worth.

I help so many people who have help others for decades, but don’t know how to receive love and worth from others. They ignore the life of their own heart, because deep down inside, they don’t believe they deserve any of it. They deflect attention or any love poured out to them. It makes them deeply uncomfortable with love.

So here is the question, have you positioned yourself to be loved by God? Are you able to receive the love and identity that God has given to you?

I am not asking if you are able to love on someone else or minister to someone else. Just because the gifts flow through you, doesn’t mean you know how to have value and that you know how to love yourself.

Today is the day we can break through the barriers and let God love us.

Right now, we can allow those who believe in us to speak love and destiny over our lives.

Today is the day you can see that you have worth in God’s eyes.

Receive His love today. 

Mark DeJesus has been equipping people in a full time capacity since 1995, serving in various roles, including, teaching people of all ages, communicating through music, authoring books, leading and mentoring. Mark's deepest love is his family; his wife Melissa, son Maximus and daughter Abigail. Mark is a teacher, author and mentor who uses many communication mediums, including the written word, a weekly radio podcast show and videos. His deepest call involves equipping people to live as overcomers. Through understanding inside out transformation, Mark's message involves getting to the root of issues that contribute to the breakdown of our relationships, our health and our day to day peace. He is passionately reaching his world with a transforming message of love, healing and freedom. Out of their own personal renewal, Mark and Melissa founded Turning Hearts Ministries, a ministry dedicated to inside out transformation. Mark also founded Transformed You, a communication platform for Mark’s teachings, writing and broadcasts that are designed to encourage people in their journey of transformation. Mark and Melissa currently live in Connecticut.

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  • Debbie C

    Thank you for writing and sharing this.