Intrusive thoughts can be a relentless battle, often feeling like they come out of nowhere, hitting us off guard, or sneaking their way in. They create a disturbance, forming a narrative that aims to hook us in, potentially focusing on any subject of disturbance, which kicks up a lot of anxiety or condemnation. This disturbance can quickly escalate into an obsession, a fixation powered by fear, anxiety, worry, rumination, doubt, and even condemnation, shame, accusation, guilt, and judgment. In this video, I want to talk about this key area that is important to understand when overcoming intrusive thoughts.
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I frequently discusses intrusive thoughts, OCD, perfectionism, and anxiety, shares a crucial insight: when dealing with intrusive thoughts and OCD, we often find ourselves chasing our feelings and trying to make ourselves feel better. This understandable reaction, however, can destabilize us and lead to unhelpful patterns.
The Trap of Chasing Comfort
When our feelings are hijacked by intrusive thoughts, our primary goal can become rushing to seek comfort and relief. While this is understandable, this leads to compulsions – anything from over-examining thoughts and ruminating, to seeking reassurance through confessions, asking for forgiveness, or even consulting AI. While these actions might offer temporary relief, they actually empower the obsession, making it stronger and more leveraged the next time it appears.
The core issue is our desire to escape discomfort as quickly as possible. This keeps us trapped in cycles of chasing, calling, texting, and constantly seeking answers, all because our feelings have been triggered and we’re uncomfortable.
The Path Through Discomfort: Exposure
The key to overcoming intrusive thoughts lies in walking through the discomfort, rather than trying to escape it. This involves exposure to the thought itself. When an intrusive thought hits, the crucial step is to keep moving forward, without feeding the doubt or arguing with it. If you find yourself engaging with the thought, gently redirect yourself away from the compulsion, because compulsions only strengthen the problem.
This “window of exposure” is uncomfortable; anxiety, doubt, and condemnation may increase. The voice of the intrusive thought may even escalate. However, this is precisely where the overcoming journey is formed. Just like working out a muscle at the gym, building strength against intrusive thoughts requires resistance.
Stand in It: Process, Patience, and Practice
Instead of fighting, doubting, or ruminating, we need to learn to “stand in it.” This means allowing yourself to be exposed to the discomfort. While it might feel like you’re losing your mind, going through this process actually helps you gain your mind and strength. Each time you resist the compulsion, you gain a small victory, realizing the thought doesn’t own you.
Overcoming intrusive thoughts requires three “P”s:
- Process: Understand that this is a journey, and you will be uncomfortable for a bit. It’s not about an immediate fix, but a learning process.
- Patience: Don’t put a timestamp on your discomfort. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this journey.
- Practice: You need to give yourself permission to practice this new response to thoughts, even if it means going through the cycle many times. It’s okay if you sometimes fall back into compulsions; the important thing is to reboot and get back on track.
By embracing discomfort and committing to the process, patience, and practice, you can build strength and experience breakthroughs against intrusive thoughts. It’s about stopping the chase for immediate comfort and doing the necessary work in your overcoming journey.
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