Welcome to the third installment of my Relationship OCD question and answer series, where I dive deep into the most common struggles people face when OCD invades their romantic relationships. Whether you’re battling intrusive thoughts about the person you are dating, enagaged to or married to, stuck in compulsive relationship patterns, or wondering if your anxiety is OCD or genuine discernment, this broadcast offers practical guidance to help empower you where you feel stuck.
PREMARITAL SEX, ROCD & GUILT:
- What do I do if I had premarital sex with the person I am dating and now I question if God wants us to marry?
- How do I stop looking for “signs” that this relationship is wrong?
- Is my guilt about sexual sin actual conviction or OCD spinning?
ATTRACTION CONFUSION AND THE FEAR OF CHEATING:
- How do I handle intrusive thoughts about being attracted to other people?
- Why do I compulsively check my feelings during every interaction with the opposite sex?
- What’s the difference between noticing someone is attractive vs. emotional infidelity?
- How do I stop ruminating over a simple customer service interaction?
RETROACTIVE JEALOUSY:
- How do I deal with the sexual past of the other person?
- Why am I suddenly angry about things I thought I had forgiven?
- Is this Christian perfectionism or legitimate concern?
- How does being a virgin before marriage affect how I process my spouse’s past?
NEEDINESS vs ROCD
- What’s the difference between “cultural obsession” (infatuation/neediness) and OCD obsession?
- How do I know if I’m moving too fast or if it’s relationship OCD slowing me down?
- Can you be both anxiously attached AND avoidantly attached at the same time?
DIFFICULT RELATIONSHIPS & BOUNDARIES:
- How do I handle relationship OCD when I’m also dealing with toxic family members?
- Should I sever relationships or learn boundaries?
- What do I do when my OCD behaviors have damaged my relationship with my teenage daughter?
- How can a mental health therapist with OCD navigate their own relationship struggles?
COMPATIBILITY CONCERNS:
- When is questioning compatibility legitimate vs. OCD spinning?
- How do I balance being myself vs. changing the other person?
- What if we have different standards about movies, humor, and lifestyle?
UNEQUALLY YOKED RELATIONSHIPS:
- Should I marry someone who isn’t a believer but supports my faith?
- How do I handle guilt and shame from others about my relationship choice?
- Is this a clear biblical issue or OCD making me uncertain?
WHEN SOMEONE DOESN’T SEE A FUTURE WITH YOU:
- How long should I wait for someone who’s non-committal?
- When is it time to move on vs. being patient with their process?
- Am I taking advantage of their patience with my OCD?
LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS & PORN ADDICTION:
- How does pornography addiction impact relationship OCD?
- Why do I constantly check my feelings after a rejection or awkward moment?
- How do I stop the neediness/avoidance cycle?
SHAME, STDs & FEELING UNLOVABLE:
- How do I heal from sexual shame while carrying physical consequences?
- Will anyone want to marry me once they know about my past?
- How do I have honest conversations about my history without being defined by it?
Key Principles Covered:
✓ The dangerous pattern of looking for “signs” from God in your relationship decisions
✓ Why “God, if it’s your will” prayers keep you stuck in unproductive cycles
✓ How to stop compulsively “checking” your feelings and attraction levels ✓ The difference between healthy discernment and OCD-driven fear
✓ Why perfectionists struggle with their romantic interest’s past and imperfections ✓ Understanding anxious AND avoidant attachment in the same person
✓ How Christian perfectionism feeds relationship anxiety
✓ When to get engaged instead of prolonging dating timelines
✓ The importance of practicing love IN relationship, not perfecting yourself first
Watch on YouTube:
Watch on Rumble:
Recommended Resources:
- The Myth of the Perfect One
- The OCD Healing Journey
- OCD Help and Support Resource Page
- Join The Healing and Freedom Community
- Part 1 Relationship OCD Q&A
- Part 2 Relationship OCD Q&A
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