I Am Concerned About How We’re Using “God’s Voice”

I’ve spent decades in the trenches with believers — one on one, in groups, through emails and counseling conversations — and I keep seeing the same pattern showing up and doing real damage. It’s the way we’re using God’s voice.

I’m not saying God doesn’t speak. I give full room for that. But I’m deeply concerned about a culture where “God told me” has become a stamp that shuts down dialogue, bypasses community wisdom, and leaves people spinning in shame, confusion, and mental health battles when things don’t turn out the way they expected.

In this video I share several concerns that I think we need to honestly look at as the body of Christ:

The “God said” stamp that silences healthy conversation
The danger of teaching believers to listen for a voice and assume the next thought is God
How preachers use “The Lord told me” to bypass accountability
The “special hotline” problem — where certain people are treated as spiritual gurus
The mental and emotional fallout I’m watching happen in real time
How we’re bypassing the simple, powerful fundamentals of God’s Word and loving our neighbor
Why community discernment isn’t optional — it’s biblical

This isn’t an attack on leaders or a denial that God leads us. This is a pastoral heart crying out because I’m watching real people get hurt — and I think it’s time we talked about it.

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I need to talk about something that’s been on my heart for a long time — something I’ve been watching up close for decades in the trenches with real people. It’s the way we’re using “God’s voice.”

I want to be clear from the start: I give full room for the idea that God leads us, that the Holy Spirit speaks to our hearts, that we can sense God’s prompting. That’s not what I’m questioning. What I’m deeply concerned about is the pattern — the culture — that has grown up around how we talk about it, stamp it, and expect others to respond to it.

Because from where I’m standing, helping people become mentally, emotionally, and relationally healthy, the culture of “God Told Me” is doing real damage.

The “God Said” Stamp

There’s a pattern in the body of Christ where we use phrases like “God told me,” “The Holy Spirit showed me,” or “The Lord said” in a way that functions as a firm stamp — one that demands agreement and blocks of healthy conversation or nuance when it comes to how we process what we think God is doing or saying.

I want to say this clearly: you do not have to automatically agree with someone just because they say God told them something. That stamp does not obligate your compliance.

Here’s part of what makes this so difficult — I think a lot of the time, people use “God told me” because they feel like “here’s what I think” isn’t weighty enough. We’ve created a culture where your personal sense or conviction has to be elevated to a divine word in order to be taken seriously. But when you do that, you’ve also removed it from the place where it can be examined, sharpened, or gently challenged. You’ve placed it beyond reach.

And that is a problem — because healthy community, healthy discipleship, requires that we can engage with each other’s sense of what God might be doing. Not to undermine it, but to sharpen it.

The Setup We’re Teaching People

I understand the practice of getting quiet, getting still, and listening. I believe in it. But there’s a version of this being taught that creates a real problem: sit and wait for a voice, and when the next thought or prompting comes — that’s God.

That can be extremely dangerous.

I hear from people all the time who try this and then feel and sense . . . nothing — so they conclude something must be wrong with them spiritually. “I’m not saved. I don’t have a strong enough walk with God. I am not a strong Christian.”

Meanwhile, others are describing God guiding them through every detail of their day, including what clothes to buy and where to turn on the street. So the person who hears nothing is left feeling like a spiritual failure.

And for those who do “hear” something — its often riddled with fear, confusion or condemnation, but its getting a God stamp put on it. In addition, particularly people dealing with OCD, scrupulosity, or perfectionism — the contrarian thought that shows up in that silence can get labeled as God, with devastating results. I’ve walked with people who felt God was telling them to give up things they enjoyed, that because they liked a hobby, this meant it was idolatry (which is a topic that has gotten really distorted). No one was there to say, wait — let’s look at this. Is this really God?

When Leaders Use “God Said” to Bypass Accountability

I’ve watched this in church contexts for decades. A preacher says, “The Lord told me” — and the congregation is expected to simply comply. If you question it, you’re “touching God’s anointed.” You’re speaking against the move of the Spirit.

But even in Scripture, when Paul addresses prophecy in 1 Corinthians, he says let the prophets speak and let others weigh what is said. That communal assessment is right there in the text — but it is rarely if ever never practiced. I have personally never witnessed it being applied in a church setting in all my decades of ministry.

When a leader stamps “The Lord said” on their words, it removes the ability to think together, to question wisely, to bring the kind of healthy accountability that protects a congregation. It creates a dependency on a human mediator — even though Jesus broke that. We all have access to the throne of grace. We are a priesthood of believers. We don’t hear God in an isolated silo.

The “Special Hotline” Problem

There’s a growing culture of treating certain teachers and influencers as though they have a unique, superior connection to God — a special hotline that you don’t have. They’re treated like spiritual gurus, like wizards with an inside scoop, and you’re expected to sit under them because they hear from God in a way you simply can’t.

This leaves people in one of two places. Either they live a defeated spiritual life because they don’t hear from God the way this person does, and they assume God must not love them or have anything special for them — or they become completely dependent on the guru, chasing after the secret keys, convinced they can’t navigate life without this person’s special access.

We are all the body of Christ. Yes, there are seasoned leaders, overseers, people called to shepherd and guide. But that role is meant to help us grow in sanity and groundedness, to watch out for grandiosity in ourselves and others, to shepherd our hearts into health — not to position themselves as the exclusive channel between us and God.

The Mental and Emotional Fallout

This is what breaks my heart the most. I have spent decades walking with people whose faith has been shipwrecked — not because of anything in God’s Word, not because of anything genuinely brought to them through healthy teaching — but because a word they felt God spoke didn’t come to pass, and they had no framework for what to do with that.

The shame spiral is devastating. “I missed God. Something is wrong with me. Maybe I was never saved.” People excavating themselves looking for hidden sin because they can’t hear anything in the silence. People spiraling in depression and despair because a “word” didn’t happen the way they expected.

And then there are the decisions. I’ve seen people move. I’ve seen people leave families. I’ve seen people make profoundly unwise choices — and when wise counsel was brought to bear, the response was, “But God told me to do this.” That stamp makes it nearly impossible to help someone. It becomes a do-not-disturb sign over an entire area of their life.

The apostle Paul — the man who was caught up to the third heaven, who saw things he couldn’t even describe in human words — said we all see through a glass dimly. If he could hold his spiritual experience with that kind of humility, so can we. And that humility actually helps. It helped my own journey with OCD and perfectionism. It freed me from having to stamp everything “just right” and allowed me to grow.

We’re Skipping the Simple Fundamentals

In all our pursuit of the grandiose — the special word, the divine directive, the supernatural moment — we’re walking right past the simplicity of what God has already given us.

Reading God’s Word and letting it speak. Letting the Holy Spirit bear witness to it. Loving your neighbor as yourself — today, in the ordinary moments. Embrace the fruit of the Spirit, which is all healthy emotions and relationship patterns.

This is the simplicity of New Testament living and obedience. But we’ve reduced obedience to assignment or something you feel compulsively to do. Go start this ministry. Travel to this place. Do this dramatic thing. We’re chasing an assignment-driven spirituality when what God is after is identity development — the character of Christ being formed in us.

What does it look like to love my wife well today? To love my kids today? To grow in integrity, in the fruit of the Spirit, in truthfulness? That’s obedience. That’s the voice of God speaking through His Word into the fabric of everyday life.

Community Discernment Isn’t Optional

I don’t believe God designed New Testament Christianity to be an idolated spiritual silo. In community, we should be saying, “Here’s what I’m sensing — what do you think?” That question is an act of humility. It opens the door for sharpening. It welcomes the body of Christ to function the way it’s meant to.

But the culture of “God said” makes this nearly impossible. It creates a do-not-challenge zone. And that isolation — spiritual, emotional, and relational — is leading people into unhealthy ditches.

Mental and spiritual health is developed in community. Other believers help bear witness. They sharpen us. They offer perspective. They love us enough to say, “Hey, can we look at that again?” We need to create a culture where that kind of conversation is not only allowed, but valued.

A Word to Those Who Are Healing From This

If you’re in a place of detoxing from this pattern — if the “God said” culture eroded your mental health, your faith, your sense of self — I want you to know that your experience is real, your pain is valid, and there is healing on the other side.

And if there’s still a part of you gripping tightly to a word, a stamp, a narrative that you’ve built a lot of expectation around — I’m not here to take that from you. I’m here to gently say: there’s room to hold it more loosely and learn. Paul did. And it can free you.

If God’s voice truly means something, and it does, then let’s handle it with the humility, the community, and the care it deserves. Not because we trust God less. But because we want to honor what He says far more.

Empowering You to Live Healed and Free