Confronting the Chains of Perfectionism – Part 7

More Freedom from Living Bound as a Perfectionist

How do we learn? We learn by watching His example and by noticing our own shortcomings. We learn from mistakes. We learn from where we don’t activate the mindset of God. It’s not a defeat, it’s a learning, because I’m still yoked. If I stumble and fall, Christ is still carrying me. I haven’t lost my yoke. If I’m a little slow on one day in catching around, I’m still yoked. Besides, I am not the lead ox, I’m yielding myself to He who is greater. As you stumble to do this you keep watching and you keep learning, all the while unloading the pressure.

1 Peter 5:7 says casting all – that means everything, all your cares. One of the greatest things God has taught me is to learn to be a fly fisherman in the spirit. Fly fisherman are continually casting their line. Fly fishing involves a perpetual motion that never ends. Watch a fly fisherman and you will notice the yielding and gliding. When they’re good at it, it looks so smooth and so majestic.

God is saying to us that is My process of casting your cares. He doesn’t say “cast,” it’s casting – a continual release. It is saying regularly I’m giving You this God.” Because our programming is to take it back. That’s why this process is cyclical and continual. You continually cast it, then you’re tempted to take it back, then you give it back again – God I’m casting this care upon you, I’m casting this anger upon You, I’m releasing this situation to You, I’m releasing my children to You, I’m releasing the ministry on You. I am giving the pressure over to You. I am giving the results to Your hands.

6. Release Control

This leads us to 6: We must release control. This is the message of Hebrews 4 that says, if you want to enter into your rest, cease from the burden of your works, your labor, your stuff. Be diligent to get in that rest. He says “be diligent.” If there is one thing you need to be driven in, it should be in going to rest. It goes counter-cultural to how we think. Hurry up and..take a nap. Hurry up and be at peace. Hurry up and get into rest.

What’s the disobedience? He says lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience. What’s the disobedience? Not resting and walking in the realm of rest. The rest is in your spirit, it’s in your heart – being at rest.

It means He’s got me, He’s covering me, He’s accepted me, He’s with me, He’ll never leave me or forsake me. Oh, I’ve got a little burden here, I cast it on You. Oh, I’ve got another little worry, I cast it on You.

Do you know that God never gets tired of you releasing those things to Him? He loves it. It is in His nature to carry every single one of the burdens of your life. But you have the decision daily to walk in His rest or walk in the burden of performance, perfectionism, drivenness and striving.

7. Release the Results

Confronting perfectionism means giving the best of yourself, but completely leaving the results in God’s hands. That means raising your children the best you know how, and as God teaches you and grows you, it’s still their choice whether or not they’re going to serve God or not. It means being a witness and being an available vessel to people and being a friend to people, but they may not be the best friend back to you. The results: leave those in God’s hands. You just be faithful with what He’s given you.

It means in your walk with God, give the best with what you have, but recognize that you are not the superstar and you’re not the Savior. By looking at some people’s lives it almost appears like we think we are, considering the pressure they carry on themselves.

There’s a saying in sports that says “Give it all you got, but leave it on the field.” I would say in your Christian walk, give it all you’ve got, but leave it in the presence of God’s hands. That doesn’t mean I sit and do nothing, “I’m just leaving it in Jesus’ hands.” That’s just a bunch of denial. I’m not into denial. I am pretty busy and diligent about the Master’s work. I want to face everything I’ve got to face, but I am leaving the care and the results in His hands. Whether things go well or don’t, it cannot change how I feel about myself.

8. Make Room for Weakness

This is a big one because you have to make room for weakness and vulnerability. So many think to admit weakness or failure means they’ve failed. It’s a form of entrapment, where our value is based on how good we are and how well we do it. There’s no allowance for weakness or failure, because that might mean we won’t be loved. We won’t be accepted if we didn’t do something perfect. Yet the power of the risen Savior comes to those who value and understand weakness.”

You’ll see this in the book of Galatians; Paul says says, in verse 13 of Chapter 4, “you know that because of physical infirmity I preached the gospel to you at the first.” Now why did he have this infirmity? We don’t know. Was it a sickness? We don’t know. Maybe it was something that he incurred from being stoned or from being shipwrecked. What it was an injury from being persecuted? We don’t know, but the thing is, it doesn’t matter. What we do realize is that he is admitting a physical infirmity. That’s amazing that the Apostle Paul is admitting this.

As a believer, can you give an allowance for people around you that maybe have disease issues they’re working through; can you give them room to walk in their healing process? Because I want them to give you the same room to grow through the healing that you need. That is why no one in this church is expected to be healed and disease- free overnight. We are all in process and that process is not determined by my standards or what I would think. It’s on God and what He is doing in your own life.

It’s interesting how Paul says here, I’ve got this physical infirmity and he says, “you did not despise me or reject me, but you received me as an angel.” Can we learn to live in this? You see we are a ministry that not only believes in healing, we teach on spiritual roots to disease – what may be behind your disease that’s causing you to be sick. We teach that, and we teach that to the best of our ability in love and grace. We do not accuse you with it, nor should we ever accuse anyone. If you ever take any of the teachings that I give on why certain diseases happen and accuse somebody with that information, you are going to have a very unhappy Mark DeJesus on your hands. Because that defiles the grace of God. For us to take some insight and accuse people with guilt and accuse people as though we are the all-knowing ones about people’s problems is a dangerous place to live. Beware of that.

So what I decide to say is I want to teach you and I want to help you, and get you free. Get you free of your infirmities, of your insanities, and your battles, but in the process I’m not hurrying you to get there. Paul said “you receive me as an angel,” could we receive each other as angels? Even in our junk? In our stuff? In our struggling marriages? In our sin issues?

I am not saying that we are going to just stay in our sin, but God cannot help you if you’re accused in your sin. God can only help you in relationship. I’ve had people walk into this room, divorced or separated. I have had divorced couples sitting in our service, trying to get their hope back.

So I have to be somebody who sees people separated according to Romans 7. When we sin its simply the work of sin working through us. I have to have a revelation of the grace of God, because the moment I see people’s junk as too yuckie for me to deal with, I’ve forgotten my own junk. All of a sudden, they have “issues” and I’m perfect. I’m so superior. Galatians instead received Paul as an angel.

In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about a thorn in the flesh. Now I’m not here to get into a theological debate, but I want to bring out something very clear. Verse number 7: what is the thorn? People have been debating for thousands of years over what the thorn was. It doesn’t really matter what the actual manifestation was, but one thing we do know: it was a messenger of satan.

For some reason theologians always skip over that phrase. Most teach this as, well he just had this thorn, God gave it to him, so he just had to deal with it. That is often how it is preached, yet it is so anti-Christ, so wrong and out of understanding with who God is and who the devil is. The thorn was clearly a work of satan, so those Christians who say show me a verse where evil spirits work on Christians – there you go.

I don’t know what else to tell you. It doesn’t get any better than Paul, as far as Christian maturity is concerned and he had satan on his tail. It says, “a messenger of satan to buffet me.” What’s it doing? It’s oppressing him. It’s coming at him. What’s it doing? It’s releasing thoughts and impressions. It’s tormenting him. I don’t really care if it’s in him, on him or on his shoulder or down the street yelling at him: it’s affecting him at a deep level.

Paul has an evil spirit working in his life – that’s what a messenger of satan is. A messenger from God would be an angel. A messenger from satan would be a demon. And he asks God three times to get free. And I’m saying, Paul, really? I’ve asked God 3,000 times! Call me when you get to like 3,000,000! But that’s the power that he walked in. He’d snap his fingers, stuff would happen. He’d walk by people, they’d get healed. He’d touch them and the virtue that would come off of him would touch people.

He says, “I pleaded with the Lord three times,” and this is where God says, My grace is sufficient for you. What’s the sufficiency of grace? The power in weakness to receive God’s operating power to overcome. You see, I do not believe that Paul had this thorn for the rest of his life. If he did than what’s the point of this? That’s how most Christians live: this is my thorn, they accept it as a permanent condition for the rest of their life. So then there is no point. Sit back, kick back and relax, because that’s your sentence for the rest of your life. That’s not the power that’s being communicated here.

What we need to realize is that we have this hindrance; most likely a work of an evil spirit who has an assignment to steal, kill and destroy you. The enemy has come to kill you, but this hindrance is for you to build up your spiritual strength to overcome it. Yet your strength to overcome doesn’t come in your strength, it doesn’t come in your superiority or in your intelligence or in what you can muster up.

In this case and in many of your cases it’s going to come in weakness. You hate it when it happens, but it drops you to your knees and power from heaven ignites over you. You hate how uncomfortable it is, and you look goofy in front of people, but when you minister, the power of God shows up. When you speak the word of God, things shift, atmospheres change, people get set free. Meanwhile you are feeling goofy the whole way through because you are still battling a tormentor who has not fully left yet.

I can remember at times feeling so full of panic and phobias, but I was still growing and learning in God about how to get free from a spirit of fear. In my weakness and imperfect state, I would minister and help people and boom, boom, boom boom – people were getting free from fear. Meanwhile I’m thinking inside “I’ve got some stuff I’m still working through!” Yet at the same time people are getting helped and touched by the power of God.

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Mark DeJesus has served as an experienced communicator since the 1990s. As a teacher, author, transformational consultant and radio host, Mark is deeply passionate about awakening hearts and equipping people towards personal transformation. He is gifted in helping people address the core issues that become limitations to their God given identity and destiny. He is the author of numerous books and hundreds of teachings. Mark and his wife host a weekly online show called Transformed You and he writes at His articles have been featured on sites like and Mark and his wife Melissa enjoy each other and their precious children Maximus and Abigail.

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