God works His greatest power in and amongst our relationships. Yet personal relationships are often the greatest place of battles that people face.

Relationships can be incredibly challenging, but are worth the investment if we go into them with healthy mindsets. Yet we all have relationships that become incredibly toxic. We look to get away from these relationships because of how much they negatively affect us.

But before you write off the other person as having a whole list of toxic issues, be sure to check the filters that you do relationships. We often carry 3 hindering assumptions that make us blame everyone else and keep us from moving forward into what is available for us relationally.

Do you carry these hindering assumptions into your relationships?

  1. That you know people’s motives. (You not only know what they did, but you claim to know why they did it.)
  2. Your discernment about other people is 100% spot on. (Too much of what we call discernment is our own brokenness being projected onto others.)
  3. That other people can 100% satisfy your inner needs.

#138: How Vulnerable Should You Be?

Engaging Authentic Connection and Overcoming the Hinderances

The only way to have powerful relationships is to live with healthy vulnerability. Yet we’ve all had those experiences where we’ve shared our hearts, opened up a sensitive area in our life and another person or group didn’t handle it with care. We end up with a choice, we either close that area off, deciding […]

Removing Our Relational Masks

Tear Down Our Fabrications and Living Authentically

The deepest cry of all humanity is authentic relationship–being able to connect, belong and feel safe amongst people we can be ourselves with. But how can we do this if we are all walled up when in community? No one likes someone being “fake” but we struggle to let down our fabrications, especially because of […]

Confronting Our Relational Fabrications

Courage to Let Down Your Walls and Be Yourself

Growing up, I always remember the fun involved in putting on a costume. Dressing up as an army solider or a rough and tough cowboy was something my imagination could run wild on. As a child, there was little need for extravagant material for these costumes. A simple bandanna over my face and a wooden […]

Advice for those Who Struggle with the Holidays

What to Do When the Holidays Bring Up Pain

Holidays are associated with celebration, connecting with loved ones and being refreshed. Yet for so many, holiday seasons can have painful associations attached. Memories of loss and reminders of heartache can often cloud the celebrations. Some have lost a dear family member and the holidays are a very clear reminder of their absence. Sometimes that […]

The One Thing I Wish Everyone Could Understand About Past Relationships

Everyone has relationships that don’t work out for the long haul and relational pain that came out of those connections. In my journey of growing and helping others experience transformation, I have found that so many people carry deep relationship frustration; combustion that turns into deep resentment and bitterness. The Missing Ingredient Yet over and […]

#121: The Key Skill We All Need in Relationships [Podcast]

Everything rises and falls on how well we do relationships in life. But most of us have not been taught the skills needed to have powerful relationships. And those skills have to do with our ability to communicate and experience authentic connection. But we need to know HOW to do this. In our years of […]

#119: Can We Talk About Politics Without Killing Each Other?

If you want to usher in immediate tension into almost any social setting, then bring up a political subject and the tensions will rise. Heated debates will ignite like gasoline on a spark. Emotions intensity, things seems to get personal, anger shows up in people’s faces. Not to mention, everything seems to get negative real […]

Why We Lack True Spiritual Fathers

Thousands of years ago, the Apostle Paul observed an absence of spiritual fathers, yet we have the same gap facing us today. Thousands of teachers, instructors, lecturers and pontificators surround us. Yet it seems that very few genuine fathers exist amongst us. (1 Corinthians 4:15) True spiritual fathers are the very thing we need to […]