Over the years, I have encouraged people to face their insecurity with courage by becoming mindful of some specific mindsets. To detox from the insecurity that holds us back, here is what I have found to be helpful.
1. Stop Defending Your Insecurity
We are all in process. The quicker we can admit to this, the more room we will give to ourselves and others to heal and grow into becoming more confident in our identity. I find that we are all playing the same game of hide and seek. We want to be found, but we spend our lives hiding in our insecurities.
I find that it is important to notice when you are most defensive in relationships, where you put up your dukes in conversations; as those are often the areas where humility and vulnerability need to take shape. As you become less defensive, you will be able to discern what may be hindering you with greater clearly. You will not be as blindsided because there’s nothing to ignore or hide. We grow the most when everything is in play for God to touch.
2. Become More Comfortable with Vulnerability
We love watching vulnerability but run from it ourselves to often. Yet we imprison our hearts when we don’t allow ourselves to be vulnerable in safe relationships. Over the years, I have learned to become more comfortable with relational intimacy. Each step of lowering the guard in a healthy way has helped me to connect to my identity with greater ease. Remember, it all goes back to healthy relationship.
3. Break Agreement with Who You Are NOT
I often teach people who they are NOT, to help them understand who they really are. We often live in agreement with ways we don’t need to that interfere. Too much of who we are has been formed by insecurity, rejection, fear and more. We may fabricate our personality or try to be something that we are not. Many can think success or achievement is what defines them. These lies keep us from freedom and they interfere with the simple power of being God’s child.
4. Disconnect Your Identity from What You Do
If we are to break through our rejection mindsets, we need to know that who we are is not what we do. A stable identity cannot be based solely on our performance in daily tasks.
Many people link their roles as being their identity. Those roles include being a spouse, parent and whatever we do for work. Even though they represent areas of responsibilities, they do not define our core identity. At the end of the day, who you are is a child of God. Connecting to sonship is the key to breaking the back of insecurity.
5. Stop Comparing Yourself Others
The moment you feel bad about yourself, the enemy convinces us to look at others. Comparison only increases the voice of insecurity and it can be the number one joy-thief in people’s lives. There is no healing in measuring our worth in comparison to someone else.
How often do you find your thoughts looking to comparison as a gauge in life? How does this prevent you from living your life to the fullest? How does holding up the standard of being like someone else diminish the unique person that God created you to be?
6. Document Who God Says You Are
Most of all, we need to seek what Father God says about us. This will allow us to discover and receive true security in our lives. Insecurity beckons the voice of the accuser to drown out the voice of our Creator. Yet when God’s Word invades the believing heart, the chains that seek to hold us back begin to dissolve.
I recommend that you find powerful Scriptures and write down a list of personal identity declarations. Make it specific and personal. Say them out loud on a daily basis and rehearse who you really are. Practice this in real time. No one ever arrives in one moment. It takes regular practice and reinforcement from people around you who can affirm your God-given identity.
7. Practice Who You Are Right Now
The only way to grow out of insecurity is to practice who God says you are in your relationships. Now. Don’t wait til you arrive, because it wont happen.
Some don’t stretch themselves because they think they are being fake if they attempt to walk in their new identity. That’s not faking it, that is called practicing.
Get used to practicing, because it will in time form a solid rock of identity for generations to come.
Get around people who will speak to you not as you are right now, but who you are becoming. Start by creating a loving but nurturing environment where people are encourage to see themselves in a greater light than they are currently living by. Determine today that you will cultivate a safe environment for people to overcome their insecurities and step into greatness!