In this week’s episode, we want to uncover the issue that masses of people struggle with–carrying the weight of other people’s struggles. We want to address the bondage of false burden bearing and false responsibility. False burden bearers take the admonition of Paul to bear each other’s burdens to a counterfeit place. They justify their effort, toting Scriptures about denying oneself and serving others, but gradually erode in their quest to help. Those who are undiscerning will say with admiration, “Wow. They are so giving and sacrificing.” Yet when false burden bearers are told to take a break, to rest and take some time for themselves, they have no idea how to even do that. They are often overworked, struggle with boundaries in their life and cannot say no to anyone who needs help.
False burden bearers gain a sense of fulfillment and identity by carrying burdens they should not be carrying. They have been trained to take on the burden of another person to a place where it is defiling them. They forget that in Paul’s admonition to bear one another’s burden, he also said, each person needs to carry his own load. When confronted, false burden bearers get very defensive, stating they are sacrificing for God and going the extra mile. This may be true, but too often the fruit speaks differently. The one “over-bearing” the burden is burned out, angry and stuck in their spiritual growth.
I have learned that I cannot take the sins and yuck of other people into your own body. I can certainly walk along side of people. I am called of God to lay down my life in the Lord’s service to others. I can help them in carrying the burden, but I cannot carry the burden completely for them. I cannot want freedom more than the person with the problem.
Today we want to delve into this subject and help you walk free from the toxicity of it brings.
Are You Carrying a False Burden?
Mark: Today’s topic is something that I have spent a lot of time working on in my own life, and in a lot of people’s lives. It has to do with the burdens that we bear, and the things that we carry, and I think that, there is a lot of dysfunction when it comes to this arena. People in their brokenness, they don’t know how to interact with people in a way of helping them, but having good boundaries.
I think the past 20, 30 years has been so much writing in self-help materials that has been based on helping people to reestablish boundaries, because it goes back to our brokenness. One of the Scriptures that’s often taken in a place that it probably shouldn’t go, is in Galatians chapter 6. In Galatians 6 it talks about people who are in a trespass, or they’re in a sin, they’re in a struggle or some kind of bondage, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness.
Then it says in verse 2, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Most people stop there, and we have this bear one another’s burdens mentality. The thing is, is that, verse 3 says, “If anyone thinks himself to be something when he’s nothing, he deceives himself, but let each one examine his own work, then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not another.” It’s showing there is an individuality that you should need to be able to walk in, and not this codependency.
Then verse five says, “For each one shall bear his own load.” Paul is saying, we need to look out for each other, we need to bear each other’s burdens, but at the end of the day, you are responsible for your life, and for your decisions, and for where you’re going.
Now, you and I have to face this every single day, because we roll up our sleeves, and we help people of so many different kinds of backgrounds, whether it’s this show, our teaching materials, conferences, seminars, speaking somewhere at a church, speaking at a group gathering, at some kind of event, or doing one on one sessions with people on the phone, Skype, in person, all these things. We have to constantly deal with this factor where, what was intended to be a healthy bearing of burdens, has now become codependency, has now become a what we call false burden bearing, which is, you are carrying a burden you’re not called to carry.
Melissa: Yep, you’re thinking about it 24/7, right.
Mark: Usually there’s 2 things that are in play, 1, is that you want the freedom, and you want health more than the other person wants it. Number 2, is that guilt comes in, and communicates the Scriptures out of context saying things like, we need to bear one another’s burdens, we’ve got to help each other, we’ve got to be there for one another, and that’s true, and I run countless situations where I am helping so many people learn to let go of a burden they were never meant to carry, and letting go of it literally feels like they’re letting someone off of a cliff, because they’ve taken so much ownership. I’ve seen this happen in families, how many families has it happened in?
Melissa: People almost base a lot of the times their salvation on it, like I’m in this situation, and God’s depending on me, and I need to speak into their life, and they carry it like it’s a badge. I’m going to get them help, I’m going to get them saved, I’m going to get them right.
Mark: I’m going to get them healthy, you know, I need to be there for them, and here’s a big one, family comes first, family blood runs thicker than anything.
Melissa: Blood is thicker than water.
Mark: Right, and I respond to that by saying, the blood of family doesn’t run thicker than the blood of Jesus.
Melissa: Right, which you’ve spoken many a times when people put family above Jesus. Jesus could walk in the room and they’d be like, wait.
Mark: Right, and what I mean by that is, every Scripture, every precept of relationship with God gets pushed aside for the sake of, well, it’s family. I’m not saying that we should be rude, we should be condemning, that we should be preaching at people, none of that.
What I am saying is that, we need to move into a healthier posture where we are available to help people, and love people, but I am ministering to people that have illness of the mind and the body, because they are carrying a stress pressure of burdens that they weren’t meant to carry.
Melissa: Right, and because it is, and it’s a very mind tormenting, it’s something that you will obsess over. We’ve all been there, and we know that it’s like where you’re sitting in the shower, you’re in the car, and that sucker is playing in your mind, and scenarios of, if you would just say the right thing, if I could just stop by and do this, if I could just set them up like this, if I could do this.
The enemy is so good at those thoughts that come in, and then you are bye-bye gone on a rabbit trail of … Really, it’s making you the idol, that you’re the idol in this, you are the superhuman, you’re Jesus Christ in the situation to come in and heal, and resolve, and do it’s right in the situation, and it’s very mind tormenting when we start to carry this.
Even those that are listening, take a minute and think, wow, am I doing this in my life? Are there people in my life … Even take a thought, am I obsessing over somebody? I’ve done this many times. Maybe not where I’m carrying a burden of, I’m going to fix something in their life, but I may be carrying a burden of maybe how they think about me, or …
Because we use family a lot in that scenario, but there’s a lot of things that we’ve encountered with people in church relationships, and friendships, in certain things where you start to become really tormented about your relational interactions, and how maybe the next time you connect you can make it better, and maybe you can speak the certain words. You start to carry a burden of even their relationship, and what the relationship should look like.
Trying to Always Do the “Right Thing”
Mark: I carried this mentality from childhood, that was, if I did the right thing, things will work out. It became something that was actually used to torment me in my thoughts, because in situations, if it went wrong, my default setting was, there’s something I’m not doing right that I need to do, and this will be better.
It was a very bad trap, and it’s taken me years to get free from it. You watched me, even in seasons in my pastoral work, and even with people that just don’t want it, because my heart aches for them.
Melissa: I don’t mean to cut you off, but as you’re talking, it’s so the enemy too that you think, “Okay, my next encounter with them, I’m going to position myself this certain way.” You have it all laid out, and something so wack happens in the conversation, and then you’re spiraled. Even worse when you walk away, you think you’re going to go into it going, “I got this.”
Mark: Yep, and it derails you.
Melissa: It really does.
Mark: Then I’m back at that same position again going, “Okay, the next time, I’m going to try this.” I don’t see the signals, let it go. Let it go, just let it go. I’ve had to do that over and over again, and it was a very deep grieving process.
Making the Change
The only way I was able to break through it though what’s really this whole concept of really truly learning to love myself the way God loves me, is I was allowing myself to be abused and tormented by people and by the enemy in my thoughts because of … Here’s the thing, when it comes to brokenness, if I am interacting with you, I am responsible for my brokenness, but my interaction with you will bring it up. Why? Because you’re a mean person? Not necessarily. It’s because I have a wound, and something will trigger it to bring it up.
I have 2 choices to make, there’s really only 1 or 2. 1 is to look within and go, “Where do I need to grow and make the adjustments?” 2 is blame you and make you the problem. That’s the risk that we’ve taken in ministry and our journey is that, you will get bitten, you will get blamed, you will get … You will waste your energy.
Those of you that are in any kind of work of helping people, you’re involved church, you have got to lay down codependency, you’ve got to lay down this guilt, you have got to lay down faults burden bearing, or the ministry of people, which everything in church, everything in the body of Christ, in some form or fashion you’re helping people. You’ve got to lay that down or else you will erode inside.
A bunch of people that I’m coaching right now, it’s just great people that are, some of them are getting, they’re getting help from me, but they’re also getting help to help others because they’re people involved in the work. That’s really my ideal person to help, those are the people I love to help, because I have a heart for people that are out in the trenches.
Being able to help tweak, I love releasing them, and they get off the phone, or they get off Skype, or they walk out of our office, and they feel 20 pounds lighter because they go, “I didn’t have to carry my mother-in-law’s pain, I didn’t have to carry the sin of how my dad is acting, I don’t have to carry the sin of the people that gossiped about me when I was trying to help them. I can release them, and I don’t have to sit there like a chess game and go, what’s my next move?”
This has been huge for me because I would spend, and spin, and spin, and spin because I carried this false burden bearing, but I carried a … It’s a false responsibility. Because my whole life, I’ve exercised leadership, I take initiative, I take responsibility.
What I’ve learned in relationships is that I can only take responsibility for how I react, I can only take responsibility. I can’t take responsibility for someone else’s battles, and their thoughts, and here’s a tricky one, I can’t take responsibility for someone not owning their stuff, and growing in it.
Taking on a False Burden
In the work of helping people, you can take on the burden that the results of their healing, their breakthrough, whatever it is, are all 100 percent on your shoulders. That’s not a burden God’s called us to live in. Jesus said, He said this, and I still … It’s actually a passage of Scripture that I sometimes struggle with, He said, “My burden is easy, my burden is light.” I look at some of the journeys we’ve even been through, and we’re like, looking at … There’s some things we’ve had to really war through-
Melissa: It’s been a little bit heavy, a little heavy.
Mark: Yeah, it wasn’t
Melissa: It really feels like I’m carrying this. I’ll just say this as a-
Mark: It’s like, I’m learning to warfare at a new level where I’m learning to yield to that grace and power, and yes it’s tough. Just because the burden of Christ is easy, it doesn’t mean that it’s not work. It still work, there’s less weight, and there’s a movement.
It’s like an athlete that’s running without a backpack on his back, he’s going to fly so much quicker. Is he still got to run? Yeah. Do we still got to run, do we still got to walk, do we still got to climb? Of course. I’m learning that it’s really releasing that weight off, then I’m going to press in, but this … I have to release all the interference of thinking, and assessing about this person, or what you I got to do, and how do I react, and how do you defend.
Melissa: Yeah, and I think too, a point in that, is the enemy’s very good at getting into your thoughts and making them get angry at God about all of this stuff, especially when it comes to casting your cares on Him. Well, He’s not listening, look at how bad this is, and look at how heavy this is, and this feels horrible, and where is God?
The Devil is very good at coming in and putting those thoughts in your mind to get off track of being really able to connect to. Christ paid a price for you to be able to access Father God, to be able to do that, to cast your cares on him, let him carry that load, and when you’re able to do that, then you’re in a position to say, “Fill me, let me receive your love right now.”
That’s the place where that stuff becomes lighter. When you’re carrying all that, and you’re obsessing, and your mind’s going crazy, and you’re thinking about all these situations, and what’s your next move, and how am I going to do this, and what do I got to do? It takes you totally out of that place where He can fill you and put you in a place of peace.
Activating the Change
Mark: How do you process it, how do you actually activated?
Melissa: I think that I’ve had my ups and downs with it, at times I haven’t been so good with it, and other times I do. I think when I can position myself to say, “Okay, this situation, not that it’s …” I want to be careful when I use these words, but it’s out of my control.
Maybe this is just out of my control right now, so how am I going to handle myself being in the midst of it? I don’t want to feel crazy, because I think I start with, what do I not want to feel? I’m feeling crazy, I’m feeling out of control, I’m feeling like I just want to cry, I need some healing in this, and I need some peace. How do I position myself in that?
Really for me it goes back to what I was just stating, okay, Christ paid this price for me so that I can do this. I have access to this so that really, the Holy Spirit is my comforter.
How do I let the Holy Spirit comfort me right now? I need to cast these burdens on Him, and let the Holy Spirit come in. You have to position yourself, I think that for me it took time, I really didn’t know how to do that, and there’s been certain things that you’ve taught me that we practiced in our home of sitting still, putting our hand on our heart, things that I’ve had to, in real time, physically posture myself in, because I’m not naturally that kind of … I can kind of just go, go, go, and you said to me, just sit down and take your piece.
As women, and mommies, and wives, we do that, we don’t know how to sometimes posture ourselves in an area of peace. I think for me, I’ve had to learn to do that, and then from there like I said, Lord, these are your burdens, they’re not mine, you’re going to carry them for me trouble, I will be comforted. Out loud.
I think something that I have had to learn over the years that has been very fruitful for me, is out loud using my mouth, declaring into the atmosphere those things I feel like helped shift a lot for me.
Establishing Trust with Father God
Mark: When I look at this subject, I feel like what we have to do, is we really have to establish God is a father who can be trusted. He is more than capable of carrying the burdens of our life. I like to help people to recognize that in Peter He says, “Casting all our cares upon him because He cares for you.”
People often become cares, where it’s like, it’s one thing to care in compassion for someone, it’s another thing to have this care that’s a worry now. It’s this thing that’s just spinning. Once you find yourself stressing, tensing up over, it’s now becoming care, it’s become a burden that you’re carrying that you shouldn’t.
I asked you how do you do this, because for me, I have to do every day. I have to literally every day engage God, and I have to do like a check in with Him, and go, “Okay, here’s all the stuff I’m giving to you today.” Because in our life, especially our season that we’ve been in, I believe we are moving into a new season, but we’ve had some rough times, and we’ve literally looked at each other and go, “There’s only one thing we can do, and that’s just have a good attitude.”
We can’t control anything right now, it’s totally out of our hands, and we have to give this over to God.
Melissa: Yeah, I just want to share something funny with our audience, is 2 weeks ago Mark’s been speaking at a couple churches lately, consecutively the last couple weeks, and we were at a church, and the pastor was so lovely, and just so awesome, and at the end as we were leaving he just shared a quick story about what we’ve been through, and when he said the car accident, and then the flood, literally the congregation went … Gave a gasp.
I was sitting in the back, and a woman turned to me and went, “Oh my, you’ve been through all that.” It was kind of funny, it actually was an interesting moment for me because, when someone says it you go, “Yeah, wow.” But he actually was a little bit like, “You know what? I’m doing really good. I know hearing it sounds crazy.” It kind of shocked a little thing in me, but I went, “I’m actually doing okay with this.”
Mark: You got street cred in overcoming.
Melissa: Do you know what I’m saying?
Melissa: Yeah. I went, “Oh yeah, okay, they’re all shocked, but you know what? It is what it is, it happened and we made it through.” I don’t know.
Mark: Yeah, because we’ve literally had to, there wasn’t really even an option, it’s like, if we’re going to be sane, we have to cast these cares on God, we have to give these burdens to God.
Melissa: We had no choice.
Mark: I teach on control issues, and no one likes to admit they’re a control freak, but all of us are to an extent, and the reality is, we don’t have control over anything except our state, our emotional attitude, and even then a lot of times we are struggling to keep that aligned. Really, the only thing I’m in control of is my decision in the moment of where I’m going to head with myself, my mind, in the next moment. What’s my words going to say, where’s my thoughts going to be directed?
Other than that, I don’t have control over you, I don’t have control over my kids, I really don’t have control over my kids. Over relatives, people, I can’t control whether anyone donates, I can’t control whether anyone buys our books, or buys all materials. God bless you all that have, it’s great, I can’t control anyone who attends, those of you that are pastors, you can’t control if people come to church are not.
We try, and we engage all these manipulative efforts, and, let me try one more thing. I think it would do such a great service for everyone watching or listening to this, is due a huge exercise of just breathe then, and just exhale, the people, the situation, the finances, and just released those burdens. It doesn’t mean you’re in denial, it’s like, I’m just not carrying that weight.
A Healthy Framework for Helping Others
Let me just go back to helping people, because I want to be an encouragement to those of you that, you work with people, you help them, maybe you’re a counselor or therapist, or maybe you do sessions with people, and you help them. This is my life passage for dealing with … This is what helps keep me as close to sanity as I guess I can, is found in 2 Timothy.
2 Timothy chapter 2 and verse 23. It’s the best advice I could give anyone right out of here verbatim. It says this, “But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife.” What does that mean in modern translation? Just stay out of stupid arguments, and when people are wanting to argue, pitch a fight, or they’re questioning everything, just don’t even bother, because it produces strife, and we know where strife is, every evil thing is.
I’ve seen it, I watched it. He says, “A servant of the Lord must not quarrel, but be gentle to all.” That means when you operate with people, keep your gentleness. Able to teach means you’re able to explain stuff, you’ve got stuff that you can explain, and you have to do it in patience because it takes a long time for people to get stuff. It took me a long time to get stuff that I’ve learned today, it takes people … They said it takes you 7 times hearing something to even consider that, that’s something you got.
Melissa: Some of us more.
Mark: Then tons of time later, repetition, repetition until you finally go, “Oh.” In humility correcting those who are in opposition. If God perhaps will grant them repentance, now, what does that mean? That means repentance is something God gives, and you pray, God, as I bring a corrective word, or in love say, “Hey, this is an area you need to consider.” That God would repentance come, because if they may know the truth, they may come to their senses, and escape the snare of the Devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.
We have to remember and understand, the people that you’re helping in the area they’re struggling, they’re being held captive. They have to see the answer to awaken so that they can get free. You are a vessel that can help trigger, but you can’t be the one that owns their freedom. You have to recognize that they’ll come at you, they’ll attack you, they’ll bite you, and at the end of day you have to keep your peace.
I’ve had to learn that my Father is way more powerful than I am, and He’s able to be trusted. That’s been a challenge in the long journey of my life, there’s been those challenges where there’s a doubt. Can I really trust Him with this?
Melissa: Yeah, so let’s say on that plane for a few minutes, because I think really isn’t that the ultimate reason too why we say, “Well, we need to control this.”
Mark: Yeah, so where do you want to go with that?
Learning to Trust
Melissa: Well, I just want to talk about it for a few minutes, because I think that, especially in this day and age with so many things that are going on in the world, I think that’s one thing that, especially as a church body, that we’re losing, is really our trust in Him, and we feel like we have to do this on our own.
I hear it time and time again. I’ve had to battle that thought myself, well, this is going on, this is going on, I have to do this, this is on my shoulders, I have to do this, we have to make something happen. I just want to talk a little about really, where in us is that place springing from where we are not trusting Him, and how can we make some tweaks, and what that looks like to settle in that so that we are trusting Him in the situation, that we don’t need to take it on
Mark: Usually there’s 2 things that I find affect our trust levels, 1 is abandonment, and 2 is betrayal. I mentioned this in a video that I did online a few weeks ago. It is a common thread if trust is the foundation of relationship, when trust is there, it’s awesome, when trust is not there, it’s awful. That goes with God, it goes with people.
Sometimes we forget that, I’m growing in God being able to trust me. No one thinks about that, that’s never taught. God is looking to see, can I be trusted with the tools of his kingdom as I enter into eternity to be a son to be responsible for cities, regions, land, areas to govern as we rule and reign. I’m learning in this life as I serve to rule and reign with Him there, and here’s where I’m proving and I’m being tried in my journey.
Anyways, going back to trust is that, in learning to trust God, if you struggle, it’s because there’s usually an abandoned this issue, there is a place where you’ve been left hanging in earthly relationships, you struggle to … I don’t know, I feel like He’s going to be here, or betrayal which is a sense of, I was left hanging, I was thrown under the bus, I was, something happened to me.
Therefore, it deems this relationship not trustworthy. I prayed, and I didn’t hear anything back. I stepped into the business, it didn’t work out. I married this person, we got divorced. I felt God was leading me to do this, and it didn’t work out. We develop a resume of indictments against God, that man, that’s never going to go anywhere.
Melissa: A lot of the time it’s a heart pain resume, it’s usually not, I have this list in my mind, and this is what I’m working off of. We have a record in our heart of those things that then has made us who we are, and how he interacts, and how we act out in relationships, which then out of those things can perpetuate us to say … Or act out in relationships of, you know what?
I got to do this, I got to carry this, I have to step in because this hasn’t happened to me … It now starts to speak lies to you that you need to control this situation and carry it, I need to make it right, I need to do this, I need to say this, and the rabbit trail goes.
Mark: Some people have a relationship with God where when they pray, they’re like, God do this for me. That’s a faulty structure that needs to be reworked, and I think that’s starting to change, because people are seeing, no, God is in you, He’s inside of you, and you are actually doing the work and the … You’re doing the obedient steps, how you think, how you speak, how you act your decisions. God is with you working with your faith, as you step out, He operates in and through you.
As we do that, we have to connect to that power source, that He’s got me in this, it develops a confidence, and now there isn’t this loss of energy because I’m stressed, this loss of energy because I’m thinking about what a person thinks, or how are they doing, or they’re not stepping up, or this and that.
It’s like we learn to release that stuff because we trust that God’s working with our actions, and even our mistakes, and even mishaps, He’s bringing all these things together for my good, so if the end is good, I’m going to let the burden get released. This is going to end good, so how are we going to find our way there? Let’s do that.
Walking in Sonship of Trust
Melissa: If you could, you had 10 points on Sunday, and one of the points that I think, they were all-powerful, but one of them that I thought was really good is, you talked about the difference between sons and slavery, but it 10 points on how sons behave in the kingdom.
One of the points was this: sons trust and they don’t get hung up in relationship things. If you could as we … I don’t know where we are on timing, but I feel like that would be a great point to land in, and as far as relationships, when you operate out of son-ship in relationships, what that really looks like.
Mark: The verse in Romans 8:31 that says, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Okay, and there’s another Scripture, I didn’t have time to get and through all this, but in Hebrews 13:6 it says, “So we can confidently say, the Lord is my helper, I will not fear what can man do to me.”
There is this posture as a son where you’re not hung up on what people are doing or not doing, where you are so confident, God’s for me, so whether I help this person and they get it, or don’t get it, it’s all right. I don’t have to be upset at them, I don’t have to be angry at them, I’ll release them, I may have to just move on, and that’s fine. Just keep going, I’m not going to get hung up.
Therefore, sons develop relationships really well because their trust muscle’s very strong. They’re very inclined to trust God very easily, because He’s worthy to be trusted, and they know that, He’s faithful, so in relationships they’re open to trust. They’re not hedging all of these walls around them, going, “What’s this person got up their sleeve, what’s this person going to do?”
Melissa: What do I need to do, what’s my position? Right.
Mark: Slaves are very suspicious, you can see it in workplaces and families, oh, what does that person got up their sleeve, they just don’t trust anybody, and they take that as a mark of maturity, I’m not very trusting, I’m very suspicious. That’s a problem, that’s a place of bondage, because suspicion is not discernment, and many people think their suspicion is discernment, and it’s not. They are projecting a pass pain into the present situation.
This all goes back to, I need my heart healed, and I need to be restored in that, okay, my identity is not in rescuing this person, or having to be this person’s whatever. Number 2 is that, God is able to carry all the burdens of my life, and He’s able to be trusted. Do it, and see how much you change, and how much you feel.
That takes repentance because, that’s like tearing away at someone’s identity. No, I am a mother, and this is who I am, and I’m … No, I must carry this burden of my child, or whatever it is. It’s like, “No, you need to be the parent, but you need to release your children to the Lord, because your father in heaven loves them more than you do, and He has plans that you don’t want to get in the way of, and your control can get in the way of them.” Or, a father, or a boss, or a pastor, whatever it is, we have to begin operating in that new level.
That’s been one of my greatest freedom, is learning to let people go, is learning to let problems go, learning to let situations go, it’s a constant, daily exercise. I have to exercise my release muscles, that this is a situation I don’t have to carry, and God’s able to do it. When I operate in it, I am the least stressed.
Melissa: Right, it’s so true, same thing, you could walk around like, “I am just walking on a cloud.”
Mark: Yep, it feels great, it’s like, “Ah, what do I want to think about today?”-
Melissa: Sun is brighter-
Mark: Yeah, I could think about so many great things. When I’m not in it, I can feel myself kind of wound up, spaced out, spinning in something, and it’s like, no, I got to let this thing go.
Melissa: Let’s be real, then you start making decisions. Well, I’m just going to sit here, or I’m going to go here. In most things, big things that we have operating in our life, we have to take a look at that, everything is usually affected by it, so when you’re spinning, and your owning what somebody else is doing, and you’re in a situation, and you’re thinking about them, your day’s all disrupted, and maybe you’re not doing even what God wants you to be doing because you’re obsessed in making yourself the idol in all these situations. Get some freedom.
Mark: It’s true, I’m not Superman.
Melissa: Oh, I would like to be superwoman though with a cape.
Mark: That’s a whole other topic.
Melissa: Yeah, that’s a whole other thing.
Mark: Anyways, folks, walk this thing out, walk this thing out, and right now as they walk out, go ahead and just release those people situations, those burdens, and let God take it, and you take your piece.
You may need to break some ties, maybe move on, but it’s time, knowing needs to get sick and get stressed, and getting burn out, and getting mentally nutty.
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