#072: Getting to the Root of Pornography & Other Destructive Addictions [Podcast]

In today’s episode, we delve into the world of pornography and other destructive habits–getting to the root of why people struggle with these habits and how they can walk into freedom. Part of the reason we are not getting free is that we are not getting to the root system of the problem.

Question from Stan and Glenna Bourne from Alaska
I would love to hear you guys talk about overcoming deeply entrenched destructive habits. My wife and I are recovery pastors from North Pole, Alaska. We absolutely love your show. You guys are a blast! We talk often with people that have been exposed to pornography or drug use at a very early age. The struggle is so often that they cannot seem to truly connect with God or people in a meaningful way–a way that gives them the courage to break free. You have an amazing gift of giving language to the problem. Would love to hear your views in a practical way. We never miss an episode, you guys rock!!! You warm our chilly lives here in North Pole. 

Listen to the episode and check out the insights Mark and Melissa share.

Resources Recommended:

  • Book: Exposing the Rejection Mindset
  • Article: Getting to the Root of Pornography Addiction

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Mark DeJesus has been equipping people in a full time capacity since 1995, serving in various roles, including, teaching people of all ages, communicating through music, authoring books, leading and mentoring. Mark's deepest love is his family; his wife Melissa, son Maximus and daughter Abigail. Mark is a teacher, author and mentor who uses many communication mediums, including the written word, a weekly radio podcast show and videos. His deepest call involves equipping people to live as overcomers. Through understanding inside out transformation, Mark's message involves getting to the root of issues that contribute to the breakdown of our relationships, our health and our day to day peace. He is passionately reaching his world with a transforming message of love, healing and freedom. Out of their own personal renewal, Mark and Melissa founded Turning Hearts Ministries, a ministry dedicated to inside out transformation. Mark also founded Transformed You, a communication platform for Mark’s teachings, writing and broadcasts that are designed to encourage people in their journey of transformation. Mark and Melissa currently live in Connecticut.

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  • Dan G

    Truly glad I found your talk- I work as a Prevention Educator at a Sexual Violence Resource Center- though we do not have a program on pornography, I am personally passionate about advocating against its ill affects. I recently found a great resource called PornKillsLove.com. It’s a movement based on research that educates on the pornography effects.

    You did mention it a few times about Dopamine levels, and the need for true connection, as well as the root cause of feeling inadequate in some way. The research shows the way porn gets you hooked comes from the novelty seeking of the images- not that we need MORE, but it trains your brain to need DIFFERENT, just as you might have got drunk off 1 or 2 beers as a teenager, but a few years later you need 8 or 9 to feel a buzz- similarly to porn, our brain doesnt get as much ‘pleasure’ from the images they’ve been exposed too, so they turn to more hardcore porn. And it’s a perfect storm today, with 1st person camera shooting, HD video, at the click of a finger, and above all FREE & UNLIMITED.

    I love how you continue framing this in a biblical, God-driven, context of how the enemy certainly does use this to steal us from our purpose and get us off our path, to feel ashamed and guilty. And you’re certainly right about hiding these kinds of things because of this ‘rejection issue’. You’re also spot on about how being exposed at an early age has a greater impact on us, then considering todays hyper-sexualized media and role models (Miley Cyrus, Nikki Minaj, Magic Mike and all that other wickedness) that flaunts sexual desire as a form of power and self-fullfillment. You can see it anywhere you look, teens are hyper-sexualized and coddled to flaunt the physical images.. from Bratz Dolls, to super hunk GI Joe’s, to the dancing in music videos and clubs, to the posturing of grabbin at your crotch as a form of power.

    Lastly, I’d like to offer up some consideration for a future discussion, related to the rejection issue- and not feeling loved, we have created a culture or generation (I’m 26 now, born in 1989) and my biggest criticism is that most females and or males, have been hurt by a former partner so bad, that they refuse to open up and consider dating… we live in this ego-centric, self-driven, ambitious time where people are content with ‘doing them’ i.e. “I’ll just do me from now on… not gonna let it bother me” so life goes,.. gym, grocery store, rest, and repeat…” and no one shows a hint of interest. Also, I feel that if a women does see a guy that might genuinely be nice, and appears so, they will immediately write them off, or try to one up them by acting like they essentially dont give a shit… lol and the more and more be empower feminism which im all for,.. the more I feel young teen boys and men are feeling inadequate to even approach a women, especially when they’ve been getting their head bit off for years just trying to show genuine interest, whether its from their friends or from that person themselves.

    Granted- I live in North Eastern Pennsylvania- so im sure this could be different in other places, however, the underlying premise I feel stems from online dating and dating apps. because as I heard before, they give us the ‘illusion’ that there are infinite number of options out there, so if one tiny quality, or even response doesnt click with us,… its ‘on to the next one.’

    -Thanks for your talk, looking fwd to hearing more. God Bless

    • Wow Dan! Your insights are amazing and right on. Thank you for listening and sending us such solid feedback. I am glad you posted it here, because it adds value to the message we brought in this episode. I clipped your suggestion for future broadcasts, as a topic to discuss. I agree that many are shutting themselves off relationally in a self-focused world, due to being hurt and never wanting to experience that again. Well done! Please stay in touch and let us know how we can continue to be a blessing.