Today our subject is one that affects pretty much everyone. It involves the habit of passive aggressive communication.
This pattern has to do with anger and aggression, but it is not done outright, but passively.
Outright aggression is spontaneous; an unplanned act of anger that aims to hurt or destroy someone or something. Passive aggression is far more deliberate, but yet a covert way of expressing anger in a way that subtly but surely “gets back at” someone.
Ways We Often Act in Passive Aggression:
- We bottle up our feelings instead of talking them out.
- Deliberate procrastination. Putting off something. Rather than telling the person you can’t do it, you delay acting on it.
- Intentional mistakes.
- Bad attitude or moping.
- Hiding cheep shots in compliments.
- The silent treatment.
- Hiding anger and resentment in a joke.
. . . neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. Ephesians 5:4 NKJV
Steps in Removing Passive Agressive Patterns:
- Get bitterness out.
- Deal with self-hatred within you.
- Stop doing it yourself and recognize you can only change you.
- Create boundaries.
- When someone else acts passive aggressively, ask yourself, “Should I stop them and ask if there’s a problem we need to discuss?”
- Focus on thanksgiving and appreciation.
- You may need to change the relationship dynamic.
- Focus on what God sees them to be.
Recommended Resource: Bitter Free!: How to Forgive Anyone, Resolve Conflict and Overcome Anger
If you do not see the player, click here to listen.
Question: Which part did you find helpful towards breaking passive aggressive patterns in your life?
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