#055: How to Stop Passive Aggressive Communication [Podcast]

Today our subject is one that affects pretty much everyone. It involves the habit of passive aggressive communication

This pattern has to do with anger and aggression, but it is not done outright, but passively.

Outright aggression is spontaneous; an unplanned act of anger that aims to hurt or destroy someone or something. Passive aggression is far more deliberate, but yet a covert way of expressing anger in a way that subtly but surely “gets back at” someone.

Ways We Often Act in Passive Aggression:

  1. We bottle up our feelings instead of talking them out.
  2. Deliberate procrastination. Putting off something. Rather than telling the person you can’t do it, you delay acting on it.
  3. Intentional mistakes.
  4. Bad attitude or moping.
  5. Hiding cheep shots in compliments.
  6. The silent treatment.
  7. Hiding anger and resentment in a joke. 

. . . neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. Ephesians 5:4 NKJV

Steps in Removing Passive Agressive Patterns: 

  1. Get bitterness out. 
  2. Deal with self-hatred within you.  
  3. Stop doing it yourself and recognize you can only change you.
  4. Create boundaries.
  5. When someone else acts passive aggressively, ask yourself, “Should I stop them and ask if there’s a problem we need to discuss?”
  6. Focus on thanksgiving and appreciation. 
  7. You may need to change the relationship dynamic. 
  8. Focus on what God sees them to be. 

Recommended Resource: Bitter Free!: How to Forgive Anyone, Resolve Conflict and Overcome Anger

If you do not see the player, click here to listen.

Question: Which part did you find helpful towards breaking passive aggressive patterns in your life?


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Mark DeJesus has been equipping people in a full time capacity since 1995, serving in various roles, including, teaching people of all ages, communicating through music, authoring books, leading and mentoring. Mark's deepest love is his family; his wife Melissa, son Maximus and daughter Abigail. Mark is a teacher, author and mentor who uses many communication mediums, including the written word, a weekly radio podcast show and videos. His deepest call involves equipping people to live as overcomers. Through understanding inside out transformation, Mark's message involves getting to the root of issues that contribute to the breakdown of our relationships, our health and our day to day peace. He is passionately reaching his world with a transforming message of love, healing and freedom. Out of their own personal renewal, Mark and Melissa founded Turning Hearts Ministries, a ministry dedicated to inside out transformation. Mark also founded Transformed You, a communication platform for Mark’s teachings, writing and broadcasts that are designed to encourage people in their journey of transformation. Mark and Melissa currently live in Connecticut.

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